Vaisnava Etiquette

Every culture has manners, and the culture of the devotees has its own. None of it is complicated, but a newcomer who does not know it can feel awkward at a temple or a devotee's home, and can unknowingly cause offense. This page covers the basics that were taught to every new bhakta in the temple. The underlying principle is simple: the Lord, His devotees, and everything connected with Him are treated with respect.

Greeting

Devotees greet each other with "Hare Krishna," often with folded hands. It is the greeting, the farewell, and the answer to the telephone. Male devotees are addressed as Prabhu, meaning "master," and women as Mataji, meaning "mother," or by name followed by Prabhu or Mataji. Srila Prabhupada wanted his followers to think of every other devotee as their master and themselves as the servant. A devotee who has received initiation has a spiritual name ending in dasa or dasi, "servant." Newcomers are called bhakta or bhaktin with their first name, as in Bhakta John or Bhaktin Cristina.

Obeisances

Devotees bow down before the Deities, before Srila Prabhupada's picture or murti, and before Tulasi devi when they enter and leave the temple room. Men offer dandavat, full obeisances, lying flat with arms extended; women offer pancanga, kneeling and touching the forehead to the floor. While bowing, chant the Prabhupada pranati and the prayer to the Deities. Devotees also offer a brief bow with folded hands to one another. When you enter a devotee's home, offer obeisances to their altar first, then greet the family.

In the temple room

• Remove your shoes before entering. Wash your hands, and if possible your feet, after coming from outside.
• Never point your feet toward the Deities, Srila Prabhupada, or Tulasi, and never sit with your back to Them. Sit cross-legged or kneel; do not lie down or stretch out.
• Do not step over anyone, over books, or over prasadam.
• Men stand on one side of the room and women on the other during kirtana, and the sexes do not mingle or touch in the temple room.
• Cover your legs. Women cover their heads. Dress modestly and cleanly.
• Keep conversation for outside the temple room. It is a place for hearing and chanting.
• Never turn your back on the Deities when leaving; back away a few steps, then turn.

Sacred things

• Srila Prabhupada's books are Krishna Himself in the form of sound. Do not put them on the floor, in the bathroom, or under other objects, and do not write in them casually. Keep them on a clean, high shelf.
• Japa beads stay in their bag, off the floor, away from the bathroom, and are touched only with clean hands. See How to Chant Japa.
• Tulasi devi is a pure devotee in the form of a plant. Do not touch her without bathing, never pluck leaves after sunset or on Ekadasi, and do not let her be handled carelessly. See Tulasi Puja.
• Prasadam is never thrown away, stepped over, or wasted. Take what you can eat and eat what you take. Leftovers are distributed or given to birds and animals.
• Pictures of the Lord and the acaryas are not decorations. Keep them clean and high, and do not place them where feet or dirty things will face them.

Cleanliness in company

Devotees do not share plates or cups, do not touch food with the left hand, and wash their hands and mouth after eating before touching anything else. Food that has touched the mouth, or a plate someone has eaten from, is considered contaminated and is not offered or served to anyone else. Do not smell food that is going to be offered. When serving prasadam, serve others first and use a clean spoon rather than your fingers.

Speech

A Vaisnava speaks the truth, pleasantly. Devotees avoid prajalpa, idle talk about mundane subjects, and especially avoid criticizing other devotees, which is the first of the ten offenses. If you disagree with someone, take it up privately and respectfully. Srila Prabhupada also asked that devotees not use the temple or his books for politics or business.

With guests and family

A guest is treated as a representative of the Lord: offered a seat, water, and prasadam before anything else is discussed. Family members who are not devotees are treated with patience and affection, never lectured or looked down upon. Srila Prabhupada said that the best preaching is behavior. Keep your own standard high and quiet, and let your example do the speaking.

These conventions can seem like a lot at first. Within a few weeks of practice they become natural, and you will find that they create an atmosphere of peace and respect in which chanting and hearing about Krishna come easily.